Thursday, January 24, 2008

Evil Dwarves


The Sun today highlights a the growing issue of dwarf thieves. Apparently, gangs of pint-sized plunderers are concealing themselves in luggage in coaches. Once on the move, the miniature thieves emerge and take their pick from the other passengers' suitcases.

The world has clearly gone mad. With Goths trying to use public transport and Yazoo reforming, the Earth is clearly off its axis.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

Mac Head

The iMac worn as a hatOnce, when I was young an naïve, I decided that it was a good idea to hollow out a broken Apple iMac G3 and wore it as a hat. I'd forgotten about this until recently, when photographic evidence came to light.

With hindsight, it is possible to spot why I found it difficult to find a girlfriend.

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Thursday, January 17, 2008

The return of Keegan

Kevin KeeganThe 1995-96 football season saw Newcastle 12 points clear at the top of the table, midway through the campaign. By the last week of the season, Manchester United had rallied and were neck and neck with Newcastle going into the final game. Manchester United faced Middlesbrough at the Riverside, while Newcastle had to win their final home game.

Interviewed on Sky Sports after Newcastle's penultimate game, and after Fergusson had hinted that teams had not tried as hard against Newcastle as they had against his team, Keegan snapped:

When you do that with footballers like he said about Leeds; and when you do things like that about a man like Stuart Pearce. I'm I, I, I've kept really quiet, but I'll tell you something: he went down in my estimation when he said that - we have not resorted to that. But I'll tell ya - you can tell him now, he'll be watching it - we're still fighting for this title, and he's got to go to Middlesbrough and get something, and... and I'll tell you honestly, I will love it if we beat them - LOVE IT!.


Middlesbrough laid down at the Riverside and Manchester United took the title with the home side's full vocal support. The United team did a full lap of honour to a standing ovation. That night, the Geordies kicked in their own town centre in fustration.

Happy days.

Relive Keegan's finest hour on YouTube.

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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Conservative Lads Club

Frank Sidebottom as MorrisseyDavid Cameron, the Conservative Party leader, is to visit the Salford Lads Club to pay homage to The Smiths, of whom he is a fan. The former social club was pictured on the inner sleeve of The Queen is Dead with the band posing outside.

Can Cameron expect endorsement from Morrissey himself? Not bloody likely. One only has delve into the Morrissey discography as far as "Margaret on the Guillotine" to work out that he isn't the biggest fan of the Conservative party. The song, released on his first solo album "Viva Hate", produced a visit from the police who wondered if the bequiffed singer was plotting to assassinate the Prime Minister with an unwieldy, French device. No charges were brought.

In Glamorous Glue, he sings:

We won't vote Conservative
Because we never have
Everyone lies, everyone lies


A party slogan, surely?

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